Shhhhh. Listen up.
DISCLAIMER: Results may vary. Please don't use these tips to fix your personal life; your mileage may vary! This is about sales, not your relationships, so proceed accordingly.
What's This Post About?
This post explores the underrated power of silence in sales. Instead of talking and firing off question after question, pausing lets your prospects fill the space with their real thoughts and insights. It's about embracing the awkward silence.
Google "effective sales questions," and you'll get buried in books, seminars, and endless lists. I'm guilty as charged—I've put together plenty of my lists for clients. And, hey, some of those questions are pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. There's nothing wrong with that. A solid discovery process depends on insightful, thought-provoking questions to keep things moving forward.
Open-ended, close-ended, high-gain, high-value—so many choices! We've all been there, armed with the perfect arsenal of questions to steer the conversation. But you know what we often overlook? Silence.
Anecdote: In all my years of Sales Leadership, one axiom holds: most sales professionals monopolize the conversation—up to 75% of the time. And it's not out of malice. Salespeople are excited; they want to share everything about their solution. Marketing and Sales Leadership arm them with battle cards, objection-handling tips, and a curated list of the "best" questions. So, what's a salesperson to do? Let's get back to our regularly scheduled post.
Yes, that beautiful, awkward, nerve-wracking silence. We've all been there—on a date, meeting, or family dinner—that pause, that deafening silence. You wonder, What are they thinking? You debate. Should I say something? Or maybe you're the one who initiated the silence and now feel empowered, not needing to fill the void.
Silence makes us squirm, but it's also a powerful strategy. The "Golden Silence" is mentioned in sales training but rarely embraced in practice.
Did You Know? Studies vary, but conventional wisdom says the human brain can process around 800 words per minute. In comparison, we can only speak at about 125 words per minute. Now factor in our preconceived notions and the mental chatter swimming around in our heads. Imagine the same happening in your prospect's mind. So what do we do?
Silence Isn't About Being Silent Bob
I'm not saying you should go full mime mode. This isn't about the "children should be seen and not heard" nonsense, nor am I suggesting you channel Silent Bob—though he got a lot done without saying much (ha!).
We're salespeople. We talk. That's our thing. We're hired because we're outgoing, chatty, and can keep the conversation rolling. But here's the rub: constant talking can be a barrier, especially when all you're doing is asking the usual questions and getting predictable, surface-level answers.
Sales conversations often fall into a familiar pattern: question, answer, question, answer. Rinse, repeat. It's like speed dating without the charm. Honestly, who wants that? I'd rather ask five meaningful questions than twenty filler ones.
Think about a close friend or colleague you connect with easily. Odds are, they're a good listener, giving you the space to share your thoughts. It's not rocket science. And then there's the opposite: we all know someone who won't stop talking. It's exhausting, and you can't get a word in edgewise. I've been that person more times than I'd like to admit (especially on the home front!), and I've worked hard to change it.
So, Let's Talk About Silence
What happens when you stop talking? When you let the moment hang in the air? Out in nature, silence lets you soak in the surroundings. On a sales call, it enables you to absorb your prospect's true thoughts.
Next time you're in a sales conversation, ask your question and bite your tongue. Wait five seconds. Start with three seconds if the idea makes your palms sweat. The goal is to hold back. That silence will do one of two things: your prospect will either fill the space with valuable insights, or you'll discover they're not fully engaged—a revelation in itself.
People hate empty space in a conversation; it's uncomfortable. But discomfort can lead to honesty. Silence gives your prospect room to think and respond more thoughtfully. And if they're pausing to consider, you've just struck gold.
Consider the Sound of Silence
If your prospect fills the silence, they're sharing something they didn't plan to say—something they wouldn't have shared if you'd kept talking. That's the good stuff.
Remember, you know what you know but don't know what they know. You know? And, you want to know what they know or at least you want to know that you know what they know and not assume you know what they know without asking them what they know. You know?
So, next time, pause. Take a mental deep breath. And just shhhhhhhh. Listen.
Let's do it together now. Count to 5 - 1.......2......3......4......5. :)
Thanks for reading. If you liked what you read, please share and spread the word. If you want to implement the strategies mentioned in this or any other blog post, reach out and let's talk.
Bernard Kuhn
Sales Strategist | Solopreneur and SMB Catalyst | Fractional Sales Leadership
Honest and informed sales advice that speaks to your gut aligns with your principles and reflects what I stand for.
Are you tired of the same old sales talk? Me too. That's why I'm here to spill the beans on what it's like to navigate the world of selling. Join me on a journey of self-discovery and lifelong learning as I confess my sales sins and share insights beyond the typical sales playbook.
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